I work part time and share childcare equally with my husband (the Hublet) so I have chosen to illustrate one of the days that I have our three year old son Goblin on my own.
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5.45 pm. I wake to the sound of little whimpers coming through the video monitor on the shelf by my bed. My husband snores gently beside me and I lie still holding my breath hoping to goodness that Goblin will roll over and go back to sleep.
6.15am. Result! I must have dozed off, and Goblin must have too. I roll over to chat to Hublet just Goblin shouts "Mummy can I wake up". It never ceases to amuse me that he wakes up and then asks permission to wake up. By now Hublet is awake and checking emails on his phone. I drag on some pyjamas and head next door to greet the boy. He holds his arms up to be carried and I brace myself to lift all 19kilos of my son out of bed. He's getting heavy for this routine.
Downstairs I dump him on the sofa and silently fumble with the TV controls, sticking on "Bob the Builder/Fireman Sam/Dora the Explorer”.
Then I abandon him to seek out coffee in the kitchen. Our coffee machine is programmed to go off at 6am and the strongest cup of coffee known to man is waiting for me on the hot plate. You may have realised I am not a morning person and do not do mornings well.
7.30am. Goblin and I have been sitting watching TV while I flick through emails and facebook on my phone and defrost my brain. Hublet appears dressed in his suit, drinks a coffee, cuddles the boy and disappear out the door to work.
8am. With Hublet gone, the boy and I set to work building a Lego truck on the floor. This consists of me building and Goblin running around the room instructing me. Once complete I try to convince Goblin we need to go upstairs and get dress so we can go out to meet friends. This suggestion is met with flat out refusal as he throws himself prone on the floor. "You can take your Lego truck up with you" I try. A pause, and Goblin gets up, takes his truck and slinks up to his room.
9am. Goblin has no interest in what clothes he wears which makes getting dressed reasonably easy. I ask him to take off his pyjamas and he refuses. I point out that I will have to take his truck away and he acquiesces. With pyjamas off I give him a quick wipe down with a flannel. At three years old I'm sure he is capable of washing himself but I'm realistic about his levels of co-operation and if we want to meet friends at 11 am I'm not going to battle him on this one.
I hand him clothing items one by one, held out in a way that makes putting them in as easy as possible. We have everything but socks on when he gets distracted by the cat. I'm left holding a hair brush as he bolts out of the room after the Kitty. I pick up his socks, hair bands and brush and head down stairs, arriving just in time to see him kick the cat as it escapes out the cat flap in the back door. I crouch down and explain for the one hundredth time that the cat is smaller and we need to be gentle. "OK sorry" he chirps and wanders off.
10am. In the living room he asks for more TV. "You can watch one more episode if you sit still while I brush your hair". He screams no and runs across the room away from me. I sit where I am and calmly explain that if he wants the TV on, he needs to come to me so I can brush his hair. He stomps over. I switch the TV on and start to brush his hair, mentally patting myself on the back for not yelling. Today is a good day.
Once Goblin's hair is done and socks are on I leave him playing with racing cars on the mat while I nip up stairs for a shower and get dressed. I pull on mud covered jeans picked up from the bedroom floor where I left them at the weekend. This is topped off with crumpled t-shirt also located on the floor.
10.30am. We should be leaving for town now but I realise Goblin hasn't had any breakfast. Porridge will take too long to cool, it has to be ice cold for him to eat. So I give him a cereal bar and a yogurt, and put his shoes on him as he eats. We leave the house and Goblin bolts down the path. "We are going to see your friends, you need to get in the car" I yell ineffectually after him as he heads for the road. He ducks down between two wheelie bins. "I'm going to count to ten by which time you need to be in the car" I say. I get to 6 and he scrambles into the car screaming "stop counting, stop counting". I never understand why that works, but it does.
11.15am we arrive at the Ice rink. We are the first to arrive for our 11am play date. Our friends arrive soon after and Goblin excitedly greets his chums and they run off jabbering together.
11.30am I am in the toilet changing Goblin's wet trousers and kicking myself for not insisting he went to the toilet before his friends arrived.
12.30am We sit in a cafe eating lunch. Bjorn and Elfin, Goblin's friends, sit nicely eating their meals while Goblin gets down from his seat, runs over to look at a tree in the corner, plays with his cutlery, gets down again, runs round the table. I warn him that if he can't stay in his seat I'll have to put him in a highchair. He gets down again. I ask the water for a highchair. Goblin wails because he's in a high chair, but he eats his lunch.
1.30pm We finish lunch and say good bye to our friends. Goblin cries because he wants to go with Elfin. Elfin cries because she wants to go with Goblin. Us mum's roll our eyes a bit and drag our respective children off to our respective cars. Goblin stops crying half way home and falls asleep.
2 pm. I sit in the car checking Facebook on my phone not daring to try and transfer Goblin into his bed incase he wakes up and refuses to nap.
3 pm. Goblin wakes up and we head in doors. He is wet again so we head up stairs to wash him down and change clothes. Back down stairs Goblin says he wants to dig so we get out the aquarium gravel and he and I scoop and shovel with his construction vehicles. Later we make playdough ice cream cones, and pizzas with craft foam. We also run around the living room with hats on being cowboys.
5.30 pm Goblin is tired and asks to watch Fireman Sam. I switch the TV on and wander into the kitchen to grab an organic pasta microwave meal from the freezer. We snuggle on the sofa and I sit and feed him because he is too tired to do it himself (or possibly because I am a sucker).
6.30 pm I give Goblin a warning that this episode of Fireman Sam will be the last before bedtime. Hublet gets home. I fill him in on how Goblin has been and how many toilet accidents we've had today. He agrees that two isn't terrible and one was while he was sleeping so that doesn't count. The episode of Fireman Sam finishes and Goblin happily potters up to his bedroom. We spend a few minutes bargaining about how many books we will read him and settle on two if he is quick to get changed. He gets his night nappy and pyjamas on and goes to have a wee and brush his teeth. I realise I forgot to brush them that morning.
7pm. We all sit on the floor infront of Goblin's bed and Hublet reads the Truck book. Goblin points out that Daddy has missed a page. Goblin is correct, he knows the book inside out. I read the Emergency services book and Goblin makes us stop on each page and choose our favourite vehicles. Books read Goblin gets into bed and starts climbing up the sides. We give Goblin a gentle warning that if he wants to be tucked in he needs to lie down by the count of ten. We get to eight and he lies down. I give him a kiss and Hublet tucks the Duvet tight around him and hands him his bear.
We collect the baby monitor and head down stairs. 
7.30 Hublet starts cooking dinner and I grab my laptop and start blogging. We eat and Hublet puts on a film. We half watch it while both tapping away in our keyboards. The baby monitor lights up and we both hold our breath hoping Goblin isn't going to have "one of those nights". Goblin rolls over and falls back to sleep. We look at each other and smile.
10.30 pm We head up to bed to watch an episode of Community on the TV in our room before sleeping.
by The Monko @ Taming the Goblin
What is your day like?
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